Donna Martin Graduates

On the Cusp of the Cusp of Mid 20Something

2004-11-05T15:24:00.000-08:00

Well, October is finally over (sigh of relief). Now it's November, which means ...

1) my birthday (Sunday)
2) Thanksgiving (2 weeks)
3) Christmas (a mere stone's throw after that)

Before you know it, it's January, and the year is half over, FO real.

Some highlights of my recent life:

1) I've had a kid give me the finger.
2) I've broken up on order of three fights.
3) I've dealt with pouting virtually every second of every day from at least one source.
4) I've had a child look depressed when I told them, "You can be successful at school."
5) I've had more things muttered under children's breath about me than would be suitable for reprinting.

My main observation at present? If you took any Wall Street hotshot, any Med School or Law School attending honor roller, or any of the numerous reality show candidates, I wonder if they could do this ... I mean, for real. Do you thrive regardless of context if you work hard? Or can hard work simply not overcome some ingrained social conditions? Again, I struggle with this question daily --- is my situation specifically unique, or is my work ethic lacking fundamentals, etc? I'm never really sure. I know I could do better, and reach more children in a more effective manner, but I struggle consistently with how to do so.

I'm trying something new this week, and I think I need to stick with it to make it work. I always give these homework packets with like 500 reproducible dittos dealing with what we're doing this week in class, you know? For example, we're doing place value, and I drop a bunch of xeroxs about place value, and send it home. However, I almost never get a high rate of return on these packets of work, and frequently all I get are complaints. So now, my new idea is thus --- every Monday, I'm going to give students a project. The project is going to encompass everything we're touching on this week --- like, they gotta start their own business and do a certain amount of things. If they bring back the project, they're chill --- maybe a little toy, maybe points on a test. And if they don't, well, at least they don't bitch as hardcore as they used to.

The end result of this? Some kid screaming at me "THIS TOO HARD!" I get that probably six times a day (more). My girlfriend's school, they hide under the table when it's too hard.

The Dog Days

2004-10-25T15:48:00.000-07:00

When this week is over, October is over.

When October is over, it's November. That means two things --- my birthday and Thanksgiving break. We come back from Thanksgiving and it's December. Two, maybe three weeks and it's Christmas. Two weeks off. Come back from that and it's January. I'm halfway done with the year, and I'm staying focused on testing and significant gains and all that. February hits soon enough --- girlfriend's birthday, two long weekends --- and then March --- Spring Break. Come back and there's 9 weeks left, including two long weekends. Booyah.

So basically, if I can make through this week, I'm almost done. If... by almost done ... you mean I have about 125 days left.

I don't really have a lot on which to comment right now. My goal for this week is to focus on "centers," which is another way of doing small group instruction. Basically, you define four areas of the room and have a specific activity for each area. You monitor and assist students. It seems really simple, but in fact it's the most terrifying thing in the entire world, because a kid always tries to test your limits behind your back. What's with that? Why do they do that? (Insert "Didn't you take childhood psychology?" comment here). I caught a kid running up the slide (a playground no-no) 2 weeks ago, and I asked him point blank, "Did you do that because you wanted to see if I would catch you, or because you forgot the rules?"

"Wanted to see if you would catch me."

Yea, well, I did.

I think I need to gain some enlightenment.

Adults Acting Like Children, Children Never Acting Like Adults

2004-10-22T13:22:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in a bit --- again, it speaks more to utter fatigue and personal devastation than anything else.

I had 2 inservices this week. Essentially, an inservice is a day-long training opportunity. The true purpose is to gain new insights into classroom management and instruction, right? I take that away from it, for sure --- I used something in my class on Thursday that I had previously learned on Wednesday at a training. However, another, perhaps more tangible purpose is to allow you some breathing room. You can think more clearly about what's going on in your life, specifically your professional (teaching) life.

In the context of doing this, and thinking about this blog, I realized something. Why is it that I always see adults within education acting like children, but never children acting like adults?

Examples? Here we go:

1) In August, I attended an inservice where I saw several 50 year old women dance and sing in the front of the room, screaming "WHO CAN PAY ATTENTION NA NA NA NA" (Who Let the Dogs Out hook)

2) At a meeting I had last week to refer a student to Special Education services, I heard three people (adults) say, "Let's keep this moving so we can get out of here." Not once, but multiple times each. At the same meeting, someone was noted to refer to a street near my school as a "black hole."

3) Twice this year, I've been tattled on by another teacher to my principal about something I supposedly did. Tattled on ... doesn't that stop in 1st / 2nd grade?

4) Last year, my girlfriend's assistant principal tried to teach first grade students a song and dance routine about the parts of a plant. As she modeled the leaves (hands above the head, and moving), one girl shrieked "Ballerina! Yea!" Seems that information truly resonated.

Yet, I almost never see a child make a mature, informed decision. So I wonder ... does all this happen because ...

... elementary school teachers are, by nature, repressed adults who loved / can't get over their childhoods ...

... or ...

... there's no role models in these situations, because the slacking-off occurs everywhere ...

You know what? Either way, I'm probably to blame.

What am I?

2004-10-18T14:20:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in a while, which I think speaks to my utter sense of being defeated more than anything else.

Most days, I work from 6:50am until 6pm, straight through, with maybe 1 hour and 30 minutes where I don't have to supervise children. It's not the straight sense of supervising children, though --- you're supervising children who scream expletives (periodically), who are capable of getting physical with one another (sometimes), and who disobey with the regularity you'd expect from obedience. My point is, don't cry for me ... but don't think it's easy, either.

I've been talking to people recently about teaching. It seems, in a broader sense, I'm only talking about teaching, all the f'n time. Sometimes, though, I don't really know what I am. I don't feel like a teacher; I feel more like a babysitter, or maybe a police officer. I don't feel like I develop, guide, and nurture learning; rather, I feel like I prevent a group of 7 and 8 year old children from bludgeoning each other, and try to impart some self-control. I guess I thought when all this began --- teaching in a general sense --- that I would be taking low-income kids without access to resources and making them smarter and more motivated to excel. It's not that. I guess, I mean ... it is THAT in SOME places. For me, it's mostly controlling disobedience, outbursts, and entanglements.

Does a lot of this come back to me? Without question.

Charming vignette from today, one that always makes me feel better --- the sub for the other class (the class I teach math to) says to me, "I don't know how you get up every morning having to deal with those kids."

I don't either.

I have Report Card Day on Wednesday. I've never failed a kid before this grading period (i.e. I didn't fail a kid all of last year), so I'm expecting that to be somewhat interesting, if any of the parents of kids I failed show up. I try to phrase things in terms of a "compliment sandwich," which goes something like this:

"Your kid is really great with / at / for ...

... but ...

... above all, though, there's a good deal of potential ..."

Songs and Dances

2004-10-12T19:05:00.000-07:00

Last year, my girlfriend was getting observed by her assistant principal, and was teaching a science lesson on the parts of a plant. OK, so the lesson is going well, but the assistant principal in question --- herself a decade, maybe two decade long teaching veteran --- decides that she has a better idea. She tries to teach the kids a song about parts of a plant. Now, it's proven with research that songs, dances, games, etc definitely help primary-aged children learn better. I'm by no means disputing that --- I give props to someone willing to create a song and dance routine for fractions, and someone that can control a class who is doing one.

Point being, the assistant principal hops up and teaches the kids this song, which is pretty basic "Here are the roots ... la la la ... here is the stem ... la la la" as children gesture to various parts of their body. While mimicing the petals, with hands over head, one child exclaimed "Ballerina!"

My point? Songs are a great tool, undoubtedly --- but are all the kids clearly understanding the learning behind it, or just viewing it as a chance to play? No.

OK, so today, I have this older woman helping me out in my classroom. She's this nice, grizzled teaching veteran --- probably about 70ish, and has taught (primarily math) at every level from elementary through community college. I respect that tremendously, and the fact that this woman would come in and help me, when I doubt she's getting paid for it, is absolutely fantastic. However, she created this song called "The Math Story Stomp," which goes something like this:

"How do we solve?"

"Read, read, read the story...
... highlight the mystery...
... look for the answer ...
... illustrate the information ...
... is the answer reasonable?
Hmmmm.... Lemme check"

Anyway, this woman is having a rough go of it with my harder homeroom, and she decides, "OK Kids ... Let's do the Math Story Stomp!"

What follows was one of the funnier things I've ever seen. A kid who was on the other --- THE OTHER --- side of the room realizes that a dance is going on. At the time, he was doing some individual work with me. Rather than continuing working with me, his actual teacher, he gets up and literally dives three-quarters of the way across the room. However, a curious thing happened. Instead of actually doing "The Math Story Stomp," this child proceeded to start swinging his arm back and forth across his crotch --- a kind of "Suck It" motion --- while screaming "Oh yea, baby, oh yea," as if imitating some form of sexual act, or sexual domination.

I looked at him, sighed deeply, and just began laughing hysterically.

Other highlights from today ---

1) I turned around at one pt. and one child was trying to suplex another, already having him in a Heimlich-like hold.

2) A kid wrote "Fuck me" on a Post It Note and tried to place it on another child's back.

I still can't get over that kid dancing.

"Looks Like Somebody's Got a Case of the Moooondays"

2004-10-11T15:49:00.000-07:00

I was so tired in the shower this morning, I felt like I was gonna pass out against the tiling. Fortunately, I didn't, and Starbucks helped a little bit too, for the drive to work.

When I got there, it was a fairly solid day. My general philosophy on the week is, get through Monday, and everything else clicks. See ... once Monday is over, it's Tuesday. There's 2 good things about Tuesday --- a) it's not Monday anymore; and b) in the afternoon, 7 of my kids go to a special reading tutorial, so I end up with 4 kids for 45 minutes, and I just play skill practice games. Then, Wednesday comes, and we leave at 1pm (well, the kids do). Thursday is 1 day away from Friday --- and I have 90 mins for planning time instead of 45 --- and Friday is, well, Friday.

So you see, if you can clear Monday, from a thinking vantage point, you're winning the battle of the week. And if you can clear Monday and have a relatively productive day, that's doubly solid.

I got some stuff done with both of my main math sections that I didn't expect to get done, which is always a plus. At the same time, did I miss out on 2-3 things I had planned? Yes. Do I still pat myself on the back for the day? Yes. Do I still need to do more effective things after lunch? Yes.

Highlight? Some kid kept calling another kid "Fat Joe," even though the kid's name isn't Joe. I instructed him to stop. He didn't, so he received a punishment. When pressed about why he was calling him "Fat Joe," the child in question called ME "Fat Joe." Honestly, I laughed --- in what context would that possibly be acceptable?

38 days down.

"But Mr. Bauer ..."

2004-10-08T15:49:00.000-07:00

Right now I've had a sore throat for about 27 hours, got almost no sleep last night, and have a vague sensation of there being blood in my throat. All told, it hasn't really been the best week.

They had a nacho / hot dog sale at school today. Virtually every Friday at 2pm, they have one of these things. Some teachers complain, because it interferes with instruction. Others love it. As you might assume, I fall into that latter category. The problem is, teachers generally stay in their rooms, so the only supervision is by parent volunteers. These women are great, and I respect all they do here --- but generally speaking, they know mostly how to discipline their own kids. So, about 200 kids with about 10 women working is a challenging situation, and it usually manifests itself as such.

So, I see this kid --- third grader, in the other homeroom --- do the following two things:

1) Steal a juice (they cost 1 dollar)
2) Tease a kinder student (they're 5 years old)

I call him over, talk to him, and in the end I take his candy (he bought it for 50 cents). Personally, I think if you insult a kindergartner and steal, you deserve to have your candy taken away. He protests, and begins crying, storming out of the cafeteria and slamming something as he does so. This prompts a teacher aide to talk to him, and go get him a candy.

Now ... I understand that this kid is probably poor, and I really shouldn't have taken his candy, you know? But he was breaking some hardcore rules, and being extremely mean to younger children, so I did it as a form of consequence. Now, this kid thinks "If I cry when I don't get my own way, I will get it..." It's been ingrained in him. So, the next time I do something he doesn't like, guess what? He's probably going to cry. It's really a sad, shameful viscious cycle that I operate within.

"But Mr. Bauer --- no!!!"

"Yes, actually --- I think you deserve it for stealing / hitting another child / cursing / making fun of another child or teacher."

My life = debacle.

Involvement

2004-10-05T15:50:00.000-07:00

One thing they tell you a lot when you train as a teacher is the importance of keeping all students involved --- engaged, if you will --- in the work at hand, because when some students are confused about what to do, they'll create something to do, and it typically won't be good.

I never truly believed that until I began teaching, but now every day I wonder why I didn't pay more attention. It's a challenge, though --- you got some kids that can finish 20 problems in 5 minutes, and some it would be closer to 5 hours for. You need something for the early finishers to do. I'm flirting with the idea of a "Project Wall" (detailing a project you can do), an "Early Finishers Box" (worksheets you can work with) and some other crap. The problem is, at the end of every day I'm utterly depressed, feeling tremendously guilty, and usually supervising children who don't know exactly why they are at school. As such, I never have the desire to force myself to do these things.

I feel like I frequently come up with new plans, which is a good and a bad. On the good side, I feel a lot of teachers in these settings (not teachers at my school, per se, but some others) just give up. It's bad, however, in the sense that I should probably stick with it for longer, you know?

Here's my question --- if you yell at a kid every single time he doesn't walk in a straight line, and it keeps happening --- is there a point to keep yelling at him or her? If you yell at a kid for getting out of their seat all the time, and you take away privileges, and the same sh*t keeps happening, is there a point to keep yelling at the kid? If you tell a kid to stop tattling, or lying, or using cuss words, and you send notes home, and you call parents, and you send the kid to the principal, and NOTHING changes in terms of the behavior ... at what point do you stop worrying and start picking what battles you should fight?

At what point do you become a selective warrior in the fight for educational equality?

Running around the Room

2004-10-02T11:58:00.000-07:00

Today, I had one kid take my kitchen timer (I use it to time activities) and try to time another kid as he raced around the room as many times as possible in 10 seconds. This was while I was working with one student 1 on 1, right?

How is that possibly, at all, a good idea?

Had a parent conference on Friday too. I've been having a lot of those this year, because the other third grade teacher is fond of calling them. Again, this one was pretty good --- a mother with four boys, the youngest of whom is a third grader with me. She seems pretty good. She has limits, and rewards. If they get good conduct, they get a dollar they can use towards whatever they want. If they bring home good grades, she puts it on her bedroom door (the assignment). If they f*ck around in class (this kid does), she takes away privileges. I mean, the entire concept, in sum, seemed like a good idea. I'm trying to figure out exactly why it doesn't work --- does it not work because when you take privileges away from a child without that many to begin with, they become more angered and more reluctant at school? Or does it not work because it's not really being implemented?

Hell, I don't know.

I had another mother tell us (me and the other teacher) that she might pull her kid out if things don't change. Honestly, I do feel bad a lot about the smart kids in 1 of the homerooms I teach --- there's so many behavior problems that I'm constantly putting out fires. It's really hard for the smarter kids to excel. Now, yes, I should be doing more, but the situation is challenging, and it's something I'm working on. It's just sad to leave every day feeling guilty, you know?

20 Inch Rims on the Impala

2004-09-30T20:42:00.000-07:00

Three times today, I had to stop a class because a kid in my room looked out the window and saw a car with "tight spinners." Conversely, this has been phrased as "phat rims," or some other form.

This morning, these fifth and sixth grade girls were on the floor waiting for the bathroom. The girl at the front of the line remarks, to no one in particular, "This floor dirty." (Note: Not "this floor IS dirty," but "this floor dirty.")

This girl sitting behind her goes "You dirty, hoe."

Smack. Mini-brawl results.

I had one of these former teachers come to my clasroom today. She's an excellent woman, and has taught at every level of the spectrum from early elementary to community college. She does a pretty solid job with my first class, the easier section, on this little word problem solving project --- let's just ignore for a second that what she was teaching completely confused my kids --- but she was utterly jobbed in my second class. During her presentation, which lasted about 20 minutes, the following things happened:

1) Two kids were singing
2) One kid kept saying "I'm finished"
3) One kid was talking about how someone (his cousin?) recently peed on him
4) One kid hit another kid with a ruler
5) 3-4 kids were drawing
6) One kid wrote "poop" all over the back of his paper

So, the woman comes back during my ancillary, and we have the type of frank, honest discussion about education that I love to engage in. She says to me, "I'll take your four worst students and work with them in a small group setting 2 days a week."

Great, I think to myself (honestly, it's great). What about the other 6 kids who regularly misbehave?

Friday tomorrow - predictable pattern. Should be nice, if by nice you mean "painfully slow."

The Day from Hell

2004-09-29T17:28:00.000-07:00

Today, I had two kids get in a fight. They were coming back from the class switch, and as one kid walked in, I heard him say "Don't hit me!" I whirled around, already pissed from the conduct of the other class, and sure enough, as I did ... whack. Right in the face. The kid who gets hit --- I've spoken to his dad, you know, and he tells me "If someone else hits first, my kid can retaliate" (I think that's somewhat valid) gets back into it, prompting the first kid to scream "You want some? You want some?" I backed them off each other, and gave each of them a detention.

Bear in mind, though: these kids are 8 year olds.

In the class before that, I'm trying to start some work on time (telling time, not multiplication). As such, I want kids to have a hand in crafting their own clocks. I give them paper plates, and tell them how to draw the clocks out using the ridges. No one gets it. So, I decide to do it for some of the lower kids, and let the higher ones (who do get it) work it out. Sure enough, as I'm doing this, I turn around, and approximately five kids are throwing the paper plates around the room like frisbees. Honestly. Like, if you looked up "awful classroom" or "pits of education" in the dictionary, I believe you'd see that photo.

Man, I really have no idea what I'm doing.

For the second day in a row, I had a kid utter an expletive at me. Last year the worst it got was this exchange:

Kid: "I failed my test! I'm so dumb!"
Me: "No, no you're not. Some people are just good at some things and not as good at other things."
Kid: "Like you and teaching?"

Yet again, I end a day wondering whether the problems of my classroom are indeed MY problems, or whether the same problems would be faced by any ertswhile individual within the situation. I honestly don't know.

There was a gang fight at the middle school near mine yesterday (maybe 2 days ago). That's really promising, when you consider the fact that every day, the school bus route drops middle school and high school kids off at my school and leaves them unsupervised until their parents pick them up ...

Questions to Ponder

2004-09-28T19:56:00.000-07:00

1) If you see one child choking another in the classroom, and you confront the choker, and the choker tells you he was attempting to practice "the chokeslam, you know, like The Undertaker," do you punish the child for choking another student and potentially injuring him, or do you understand the situation at hand and let it slide that time?

2) If a parent promises you that they will hold their child out of youth football that weekend as a punishment, and then the child presents a series of stories from his youth football game that weekend, do you internalize the situation of inner-city parenting or attempting to change the entire system structurally?

3) If a student tells you to "fuck yourself," does it really make sense to contact his parents? Because, in reality, isn't it possible that the child will get spanked, become angered and resentful, and not do anything in class the following day? You might say, I would argue, "No, the spanking will teach the child a lesson." That seems logical, but when I've contacted parents, I've usually had parents say, "I'll whup him tonight," and then I've usually had the kid return to school completely off-task and refusing to do work.

As a clarification, as well. Tonight, I had a meeting with 2 first-year teachers and my TFA Program Director. We're talking about how colleagues of one of the first-year teachers don't respect her challenges as much, because she's a special ed teacher and generally sees only 5, 6 kids at a time, in addition to having an aide. I remark, "That's a common human reaction --- to cut other people down to make their own situations seem all the more vexing." Now, I fully agree with myself here; that is what people do. They try to make their lives seem more important and harder by dressing down others.

However, even if you read between every line of this blog, that's really not what I'm trying to do. My bottom line is this: life, and every situation within it, is contextual. However, tremendous work ethic and ingenuity can overcome all obstacles. Do I necessarily possess that? Eh, probably not. Do tons of others? Unquestionably. Could they thrive in any teaching situation? Booyah. Could I? Questionable, at best.

A New Leaf

2004-09-27T15:47:00.000-07:00

I'm thinking about turning over a new leaf with regard to this whole process. I was thinking this weekend about how I have problems making eye contact with some students and faculty members, and I feel the biggest reason is probably guilt. I feel guilty that, ostenibly, I come from a higher educational background than most of the other people at my school, yet, I'm not even the best teacher at this place.

Now, granted ... educational success as a student and as a teacher don't necessarily correlate. I mean, I'm sure a bunch of fools from Harvard (let's assume, for a second, that Harvard is indeed the pinnacle of American education) would fail in this job. However, I have been working harder this year --- at least, lesson planning more, and investing more in resources and whatnot. I probably work harder than most people (not all) at my school, but still, I feel like I can put it all together gradually and become a more effective educator, rather than simply being effective sometimes, and bitching the rest of the time. I'm not trying to be a statistic.

It bothers me when kids break down so easily --- I'd like to know more about this. I had a kid cry during after school tutorials today, for no truly apparent reason except that he had 2 problems remaining and another group had already finished. I think one area of true lacking for myself is consistently understanding the motivations and needs of my students... I mean, I think I know where they need to be academically, but I don't think I always know what makes them tick socially and emotionally. I need to improve in that regard (and about 10 million others).

I had a white kid today ask me if a black kid's father was Ja Rule. I really didn't know what to say.

Additionally, I have another kid who consistently says, "How y'all doing tonight?" in the style of a late night talk show host. I'm not entirely sure where he learned to say that, or where he might have seen it and picked it up from. Regardless, it's mind-numbingly annoying, almost skull-piercingly bad.

Tomorrow: group work and making clocks out of paper plates.

What's my deal?

2004-09-24T15:54:00.000-07:00

I went to the Teach for America Fall Benefit last night. Generally speaking, these events make me fairly depressed. The reason is, I don't think I do a very good job of being a teacher --- forget that I'm Teach for America, and as such, I should be doing an even better job than most other people surrounding me at my actual school. Every time there's a formal TFA event, as you would expect, you hear a lot of speeches about challenges that certain teachers faced in their classrooms, and how they overcame them with flying colors.

I agree, there are a lot of elements of my TFA experience that I didn't master very well (haven't, because it's by no means over). I don't think I convey lessons well to children, in terms of linking tangible experiences to assessments. I don't think I manage behavior as immediately (read: as soon as it happens) as I should. And I think the logic I use when creating assignments, lessons, punishments, etc. is probably way over the head of a 8 year old, so that's none too good.

Regardless, here's my thing ... every experience is different, in life as well as in TFA. I like some of the kids that I teach, but here's one thing I'd like to pull out from last night. One of the speakers said, "I was motivated by the work ethic of my kids to be the best teacher I could be, drawing resources, etc. for them" (paraphrasing). Since I switched to second grade last September, and now 3rd with the same kids, mostly what I encounter is resistance, anger, frustration, hostility, and a concern over what extrinsic rewards they can receive for doing the least possible work. In sum, hard behavior kids who you can't reason with.

Now, do I contribute to this? Beyond a shadow of a doubt, yes ... but last night in the grocery store, I'm thinking, "Remember when you taught 3rd grade at the beginning of TFA? That was going well." It was! And I know --- the beginning of a new experience is when you're most motivated to show off what you've got... but man, I was doing well then, and the kids I had were the normal kids you hear talked about by other teachers. They had their problems, and they put up fights, but by no means were they intolerable. Then, I switched to this group. It's been a lot (worse) different.

What I'm saying is, I like the challenges associated with teaching, and the process of trying to fix those challenges. However, I think that while certain people would be amazing teachers in any context (I would NOT), your success in the early part of your educational career is at least 50 percent dependent on the context of your situation.

In related news, I had a kid repeatedly call me "Bauer" today. Had another kid tell me he was going to the bathroom, then go finish his test in another classroom (???). Had another kid steal a bunch of a girl's tickets (incentive system used by the other third grade teacher) and lie about it. I just wonder ... does everyone encounter this sh*t?

Older and Wiser?

2004-09-22T14:26:00.000-07:00

Today, I had this woman observe my classroom twice --- she watched me teach math to both sections of the third grade.

This woman has been teaching math for 29 years; I guess she just retired, so I should have written "had." She taught from elementary all the way through community college, and acquired a bunch of strategies guided towards pushing up the performance of low-performing math students.

So, she came in, and it was fairly standard. Whenever you get observed, it either goes really well, or really fucking poorly ... there's almost no middle ground. Last year, during the first time anyone ever observed me teach, I was picture perfect, doing everything a good teacher SHOULD theoretically do. The next time, it was one of the most hellacious 45 minute spans of my entire life. It's basically been that pattern ever since.

She rolls in, and my whole philosophy on being observed is "just do what you're doing," unless of course you're doing something entirely asinine, in which case the philosophy shifts to "do something that seems far more productive." Today I was doing something valid --- place value --- so I kept going. She wrote a bunch of notes, and left after about 20 minutes. She came in late in my hell class --- problem solving --- and did the same thing.

The woman then proceeds to give an inservice to my entire faculty on effective math strategies. OK, here's the rundown. I'm by no means a good teacher. In fact, I'd group myself probably in the bottom 20, 30 percent of all public school teachers for this age group in the whole of America (sadly, I'm probably in the top 20 on educational background, if not higher than that ... shouldn't that relationship be direct, and not inverse?). But, this woman goes through this complicated approach to problem solving which involves reading the problem 3 times (I agree with that), highlighting it (got no problems there), illustrating it (OK...), and then going through a bunch of other steps. There's some song that goes along with it, where none of the words rhyme and most of the words are over 3 syllables long. Believe me, it would never get over in my class.

The thing you need to understand about education --- I sound really high and mighty --- is that schools pay for people to come in and help their teachers develop ways to score higher on tests. Because of the accountability systems of No Child Left Behind, all schools have these ex-teachers running programs like this. Now, I write this blog, and as I write, everything about being a teacher seems really easy, because it's distant... same deal with these ex-teachers who run these programs. They present complicated, 7-step approaches with songs that don't have a pattern, and they think it's going to be extremely effective, because they don't slug it out every day on the front lines. Honestly, try teaching a song and 7 steps to a bunch of kids preoccupied with their toys, who is teasing them, and, frankly, if they ate that morning. It's not as easy as it seems.

Similarly, I understand the need for specific strategies to instruct children... hell, I could use some more. BUT... at these staff meetings, do the adults (the teachers) really have to act out a word problem? I mean, OK... it gives us experience for when we teach it, but, generally speaking, I can figure out how many chips are on Jessie's cookie by multiplying without drawing a picture and having some veteran teacher check my work. Odd, really. Odd.

What's the moral of this story? I have no idea. However, I did see two kids fight (almost punch) over a pencil sharpener today, and that was one of the funniest fucking things I've ever laid eyes on.

No Clue What I'm Doing

2004-09-21T19:10:00.000-07:00

My girlfriend told me, "Sometimes I feel like I coach a soccer team every day ... and we prepare really well, and we're good, and we're ready, and then every morning I wake up and I face the US Olympic team and just get humiliated, belittled, and destroyed."

A-fucking-men.

I really have no idea what I'm doing. Today, after school, I had 2 groups of 5 kids each stay. Now, in the past, due to not having any idea what I'm doing (the theme clearly resonates), I've let these children play on the computer (cartoon network.com and whatnot). Now, every time these kids show up, it's "CAN I PLAY? WHEN CAN I PLAY? WHEN? WHEN?" When we try to do work, it never goes where I want it to, because they all seem bored unless I promise them a chance to play on the Internet, at which point they all do the work (some incorrectly) and then feel slighted if I don't immediately provide them with Internet time.

So today, I didn't really want to deal with a bunch of crap, so I took 1 kid at a time and worked with them while I let the others play on the computer. It was good in the sense of 1 on 1 work, which is generally beneficial to struggling students, but bad in the sense that it was utterly ineffienct and essentially served no true purpose, since if you asked any of these kids what they learned after school today, they would say "I learned how to do a sick uppercut in Team Titans game!"

I think I've reached a point whereby I would rather have kids sit down and do their work then actually be engaged by doing any sort of work, or realizing any sort of critical thinking pattern involved with the process. You know the whole thing about giving a man a fish versus teaching a man to fish? Right ... I should teach them a "love of learning" because then, no matter what shit, unmotivated, under-paid teacher (ah, my life) they have in the future, they will still want to pursue knowledge. But really, I just can't find my inner drive to let a kid find that space in himself where he loves to learn ... I'd rather see him do 20 problems in a book, then check it, then do another series. I guess maybe I'm a statistic ... but I feel like most people are probably in the same boat in these schools, and that might be wherein the problem lies.

The Long Stretch

2004-09-20T19:57:00.000-07:00

Greeted this morning by a colleague remarking, "Hope you enjoyed your vacation. We don't have another day off for nine weeks."

Holla.

This is officially the hardest stretch of the year --- from now until Thanksgiving --- so I feel I have a mild right to bitch.

First off, my school --- and a lot of schools in HISD, actually --- does this thing called "tutorials." It's pretty self explanatory; kids stay after school from 3:30 until 5:30pm and work on skills they don't attain in class. Now, the first hour is supposed to be academics, and the second hour is supposed to be enrichment, such as "painting" or some such. I was supposed to run a chess club and a school newspaper last year, but it never really got off the ground (although several times, random kids ran into my room and asked to use the computers).

Now, the other third grade teacher --- who has a hard class (coughcough my class last year coughcough) decides she wants to do 3:30 to 5:30, the whole 2 hours being academics. I gotta go along with this, and I do, gladly ... well, partially gladly. As I thought about it, I realized that from now until May of 2005, I'm working from 7:40am until 5:30pm with about 1 hour off, and monitoring off-task children whose basic needs aren't met all day. Wow.

My issue here isn't helping the kids --- that's what I signed up for, that's what I'll do. MY issue is thus: my principal makes a big deal that everyone has to tutor four days a week (M, T, TR, F) for 1 or 2 hours. I'm under the impression that everyone is doing it --- as I was last year --- and if I don't do it, I'll be the one with his face sticking out, you know?

As I start it up today, I realize there's maybe three other teachers in the building, and most everyone else has left. And I also realize, that situation probably won't chage until the winter.

Man, I got jobbed.

Blatant occurences of disobendience today hovered around 11, mostly from one kid. "Um, if I were you, I would stop taking out those trading cards when I ask you not to." "Yes, sir."

*Flash forward 2 seconds*

"Um, what did I say?"

Some kid was pissing me off in the hallways, mouthing off to a younger class, so I grabbed his hall pass, which meant he couldn't be in the halls anymore, so he had to go back to his room. It was mildly depressing, yet also humorous.

Religion and Poverty

2004-09-17T13:53:00.000-07:00

Came into school today, despite not having to teach, in an effort to get some things done. Finished lesson plans for next week, so I can watch football virtually all Sunday.

I went to lunch at this joint Casa Ole - it's off Maxey Road, which is kind of the "main drag" of the trucking area in eastern Houston proper where I teach. It's an intersting community - like most of Texas, you'll go about 500 feet with literally nothing except field on either side of you. Periodically, in the field adjacent to the Pre-K and K wing of my school, cows are just roaming around the grass. I'm not sure who they belong to or anything, but they're there.

Now, the larger point is, in the drive from JW Oates ES to Casa Ole --- a drive that probably takes 7 minutes at most --- you pass at least 11 churches, mostly of the Baptist demonation (sp?), but some others as well. I would venture to say that in a given 7 minute drive in another city, you probably wouldn't pass that many churches. You see this frequently in poverty-stricken areas. I don't know what exactly to say about the large presence of religion in lower socioeconomic areas, but I think it's noble that people reach out to faith, even in a general crisis condition.

At that inservice a few days ago, someone described the area of my school as "really blue collar, but with good family values." I'd agree with that --- if you drive around, there's not really any one area that makes you say "Holy fuck, this is the ghetto," nor is there any area that makes you say, "Wow, this is really nice." It's probably the upper portion of the lower class of the city. The area where my girlfriend teaches --- much worse. It's on the north side, and most of the houses are up on cinderblocks. The streets are so narrow, and gutted, that it's dicey trying to drive in 1 direction, because if someone comes in the other direction, you might end up tires in a ditch.

In somewhat comical news, there's about six African-American students who attend my school, and all of them live on 1 street about a mile down the road, on the left side. The street begins with a church, and then gives way to about 7 houses on each side --- each house being farther apart, and marked by a huge, mostly unused grill in the backyard, as well as a dirt-caked, mostly unused four-wheeler in the front yard. I checked out the marquee of the church, and I wrote down the pastor name. I'd really like to interview him, and find out some more about this area. That's a life goal for the fall/winter of 04-05.

Amazing People

2004-09-16T09:38:00.000-07:00

I have the day off today, and I'm still posting. Dedication, no?

I went to an inservice yesterday on reaching "gifted and talented" learners (layterms: really smart elementary school kids). As with any teacher training opportunity, things were stretched out to the point that what should have taken 1 hour, in fact, took 7 hours. I think I used commas wrong in that last sentence, but oh well.

There's something I got from that inservice, though, which I feel needs to be highlighted. I was sitting at a table with four other people - 1 teacher from my school, whose husband is in Teach for America with me, and three people I had never met before. All of them had been pursuing some other career path (real estate, car sales, etc) and decided, post-30, to enter education. I think that's really cool; cool being a generic word choice and all, but you get the picture. There was an article in National Journal (National Review?) recently about teacher certification programs, and how not enough high-quality people are going into education.

Now, I'm kinda at the forefront of this discussion, because, metaphorically speaking, I'm a "high quality" person. I have a good education, and I come from a good home. And hey, I'm teaching in the inner-city of a needy urban school district... albeit for a finite, short period of time. This was a point the article made, and a big criticism of Teach for America (the fact that most kids only do it for the required 2 years).

Now, I agree that the three people I sat with yesterday probably didn't go to Georgetown (and granted, Georgetown falls in the national eye every 2 seconds these days), but... I think it's notable that they have such a passion for children and helping children to excel that they changed career paths and entered education. My essential problem with how I've done during Teach for America is that as a smart person, I also have a problematic tendency to realize that you can get by with a certain amount of effort. I need to be more motivated - I need to be THOSE people. That was some amazing stuff, hearing them talk about why they switched, and what they're doing it for, etc... I was just very impressed that someone with a passion for improving the lives of children would enter the field. That's exactly what it needs.

Funnier story now. My girlfriend teaches K-5 science, right? So, two days ago, she had a kindegartner defecate on himself. If you don't know what that means, check out dictionary.com. Point being, she had to get him out of the room because it smelled like --- well, you can guess what it smelled like. Now, my girlfriend's had about 4 kids urinate themselves in her presence, but never a crap artist such as this. Rushing a "Nurse's Office Form," she hastily scribbled, "Bathroom in pants." Apparently, her nurse found it quite amusing. So did I.

Two days ago, upon hearing this story, I had a really annoying student keep asking me to go to the nurse. I knew he didn't REALLY need to go, because he kept changing his ailment. "My head hurts." Next would be "My stomach hurts." Later, "My knee hurts." It got really bad when we got to "independent work," also known as the part of a lesson whereby kids practice a skill on their own. Because I was getting really tired of this, I grabbed a "Nurse's Office Form" of my own, and hastily scribbled "Bathroom in Pants" on the bottom of it.

Ah... genuis.

Kid comes back 20 minutes later and looks me right in the eye.

He goes, really agitated,

"I DIDN'T go to the bathroom in my pants!"

Ha. A slight victory? Or bitterness personified?

1.5 Day Weeks

2004-09-13T14:46:00.000-07:00

This week, I don't have school Thursday or Friday.

I have an "inservice" Wednesday.

I have an "inservice" Tuesday afternoon.

I just finished Monday.

So, I need to teach Tuesday morning and I'm done for the week. Insane.

Gotta love it, though.

The other third grade teacher, who inherited many of my special children from last year, skipped lunch today to discipline and fill out paperwork to get children in trouble. I fear for her.

At recess, I had a girl tell me, "I hear (the other third grade teacher) is gonna give us real hard homework... like times." She was referencing times tables, which I think is funny since I teach math, and the other teacher instructs in reading... I mean, why would SHE give homework that had times tables on it? Also, for the record, times tables is probably a late October, early November kinda thang with the way I'm going.

"Open House"

2004-09-10T14:51:00.000-07:00

Last night, we had Open House (a kind of Meet Your Teacher night). I wasn't done till almost 8pm, and I wasn't gonna post then.

The annoying thing about any type of "Meet Your Teacher" type affair is thus: a parent who would consider attending such an event is probably a parent whose involved in the life of their child. If a parent is involved in the life of their child, staying on them about conduct and homework and grades (etc), then the child typically does better; in opposition, a child without as much supervision typically runs free and ignores rules and consequences. So, most of the parents that show up are parents of good students with above-average conduct. Then, you end up talking about relatively banal things with them for 10 minutes, whereas if certain parents showed up, I'd lock the door and be talking to them without interruption for about 2 hours. But alas, even when you do contact those parents, they don't always show up here.

Yesterday, I had a nice snapshot of some of the problems with American urban education. I've got my class just outside my room, waiting for the PE teacher (great guy, good friend of mine) to come pick them up. So, I've got them sitting, waiting there... they're doing a good job. The fifth grade class rolls up to the science lab, which is directly across the hall. It's a class of about 29 kids, so the kids at the back of the line (near where I'm standing) are pretty far back from the teacher. The teacher's giving directions and assigning seating for when the students enter the room, and as he's doing this, a kid at the back of the line --- whose younger brother I taught last year --- takes his binder and his box of pencils and slams them on the floor.

Pretty loud thud, but the teacher didn't hear it.

So I say, pretty sternly, "Pick that up."

The kid does it. Check.

So, now I look over at the kid, and he's facing me (thus, he has his back to his teacher). I say, "Turn around." He turns to face my students, so he's still NOT facing his teacher. I say again, calmly but with a little more force, "Turn around and face your teacher."

For no truly apparent reason, this kid just starts dancing... fucking dancing... on the line. I get pretty stern now, and I'm getting closer to him. "FACE YOUR TEACHER." Voice raising. He faces my class again --- still NOT facing his teacher --- and dances again.

My kids were getting picked up now, but here's my question: what the fuck? Why would someone do this? The sadder part is... after 2 reprimands, I didn't even care to stick with it. There's some kids who, no matter how many times you try, they just don't get it.

I wonder if this kid acted in this manner because...

... he has no respect for authority?
... he has no respect for me personally?
... he feels let down by all adult authority figures?
... he wanted to test his limits?
... he's just a clown?

I encounter at least three situations like this daily, and every time I wonder where exactly this whole thing is going wrong.

programs that don't work

2004-09-08T14:10:00.000-07:00

Pretty good story from yesterday, that for some reason I forgot to type.

So, my school runs this program called "Project CLASS," where CLASS is an acronym for "Children Learning Appropriate Social Skills." Basically, there's six social skills - paying attention, following directions, getting the teacher's attention, etc - and you're supposed to teach your class the skills via songs and skits, and they utilize the skills in order for you to manage an effective lesson.

OK, the f'ing most ironic thing about this is right here: in the song you use to model "paying attention," they use the bass line from "Who Let the Dogs Out," and the guy in the song is screaming "Who can pay attention! Woo! Woo! Woo! Who can pay attention! Woo! Woo! Woo!" OK... kids just randomly start singing that in the middle of class. Cool, right? Some teachers at my school say "The songs are really working!" Ironically, though, if a kid is screaming those lyrics out, he's probably NOT paying attention...

So yesterday, this woman who works for Project CLASS - Ms. Andrew, I think her name is - comes to visit classrooms and assess all the teachers on how we're implementing the teaching of these skills. Right, good idea. She's been here twice, I think, and she's seen one of the real hellraiser kids in 3rd grade, you know? I had him last year, and the other teacher has him this year. He's a real pouter --- doesn't get his own way and he's not doing anything, if you've ever encountered that type of person.

To make a long story short, this woman decides to meet with the kid 1 on 1, and tells me "Just give me 45 or 50 minutes, and he'll be doing great." I nod, laugh internally, and say, "Sure..." I had this kid for 161 days and he didn't do squat, but she's gonna fix all his ills in 45 mins? OK. Let's see this one roll.

I go about my business, compiling homework and whatnot... and lo and behold, I walk out into the hallway about 30 minutes after she took him for some 1 on 1 work. He's trying to climb one of the walls, and she's screaming in his face "STOP CLIMBING THE WALLS! WHY DON'T YOU STOP CLIMBING THE WALLS! WHY ARE YOU CLIMBING THE WALLS?!??!"

Fuckin' classic.

Anyway, today was fine (mostly because it was short), and punctuated by one of my kids calling me a liar three times because I refused to give back his Yu-Gi-Oh cards, which he took out of his pocket without permission three different times and I seized. Charming, really.

"hell"

2004-09-07T14:50:00.000-07:00

Today, one of the kids in the other class - who was homeless for a period of time last year, sadly - was out at recess. He started running up the slide, which all the third grade teachers have said is something you can't do. So, I barked out his name and told him to come over to me and sit down. He didn't really understand what he had done, so I explained the situation to him. He still didn't seem to understand, so I said "Do you know that you need to listen to what your teachers say?" He says back to me, "But recess is for fun, is for running." This was fairly depressing. He honestly had no idea that there are rules at recess too, which we tell them about a million times a day. He then added, "It's the only time here you can have fun."

Now, I don't think I've ever danced for joy because I had to go to school (as a student or a teacher), but shouldn't school be more fun for these kids? Since it's real hard to get kids to see any INTRINSIC (knowledge-based, intelligence-gained) value in schooling, I try to set up EXTRINSIC rewards (Internet time, recess time, etc) that they can achieve if they accomplish certain things in class. It's fairly depressing to begin with --- kids do stuff only to receive rewards, much like dogs, and not because it will advance them in any way. I mean, most kids do... I'm not trying to overgeneralize, but I guess I am anyway. Apparently, this kid still doesn't think any school options except recess are fun. Sad. I should work on ways to fix that.

Recovery

2004-09-03T14:42:00.000-07:00

I created this thing at my school called "Contest Corner," whereby each week, I post a series of challenging questions by grade level. The questions go up on Monday morning, and students have until Friday afternoon to answer them. This previous week was the first week of the idea, and only bilingual students contributed answers to the contest (in all grade levels). I found this odd, but at the same time, bilingual classrooms tend to be better-disciplined (a greater focus on self-discipline), and thus accomplish more.

I'd estimate, in a given day, I spend probably 35-45 percent of my time redirecting behavior. Now, that's a lot LESS than it was last year, which is a good thing. But... it's extremely challenging to be effective in public school settings, mostly because you need to spend so much time on things that come naturally in other environments. I try to think back some days to behavior issues in my schooling --- I remember there were shit kids when I was in elementary school, but I feel like they could be easily re-directed. It's a bit different here.

One thing odd about children: constant need to copy others. Today, I had a kid tell me he was about to be 10, "but I should be in a different grade, cuz I flunked before in da school." OK, fine. Thanks for the information, man. Now, about 5 other kids run up to me and tell me, "I done flunked too." I have cards on these kids; they didn't flunk. I wonder why they wanted to say that... maybe they thought it was cool? Maybe they saw it got my response (albeit a lackadasical, nod-your-head style response)? I'm really not sure. You ever notice how the "cool kids" in elementary school (the back of the bus crowd) are usually based on knowing more mature things (read: illicit) and thus have more behavior problems (read: defined as rebel)? Did you similarly notice how those kids never seem to be really popular when they're 25?

As for Bush's speech, I give it an A. I don't like Bush, I doubt I'll vote for him, but it was a really good speech. Now, as for education and Bush's speech, here's a brief synopsis, with more to follow. "No Child Left Behind" is universally bitched about by teachers, BUT... bear in mind teachers bitch about everything under the sun. In reality, you need to test children consistently to understand where they fall in the grand scheme of things. It's a standarized way to gain, and access, information. In the long run, given the lack of really quality public school teachers, it's probably the best approach for all involved. However, it definitely does cut into instruction and create complacement teachers who "teach to the test." Honestly, though, you're going to have a state-mandated test wherever you go (I would assume), and thus you're always going to have teachers who "teach to the test."

Three day weekend. Hotness.

Half-Days = Holler

2004-09-01T14:15:00.000-07:00

Wednesday = half day. Children leave at 1pm, as opposed to 3pm. Generally, a good thing.

Per usual, my first class went fine, and my second class had no idea what was going on. I need to develop a more workable system there. I had a kid ask me three times, "When's lunch?" I had another student ask me, "Do you have a PS2 or X-Box?" And I counted at least four times when I asked a question, and 10 kids raised their hands. I smiled... and as I called on kid after kid, I realized they had to go to the bathroom. My life is an embarassing debacle. And why does one kid constantly scream out his personal state of affairs, as if that's going to make me respond any faster? "MY HEAD HURT!" "MY STOMACH HURT!" "I HUNGRY!"

Great. Thanks.

I kept sticking my thumb in my mouth because I have this annoying cold sore, so I'm sure that looked really nice all day. I also popped two Sudafed during the day, which, looking back, probably could have been interpreted as me taking drugs in the faculty men's bathroom. That would have been charming.

No deep, insightful commentary on the state of American public education today (or any other day, for that matter). Today is the first of September, which means I'll never teach another day in August in my life. It's all about small milestones, you know? It's also the day my landlord is supposed to let us know about how much she plans to rip us off (house from before, not current house), so that should be charming as well. I use "charming" far too frequently.

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

2004-08-31T14:30:00.000-07:00

Haven't posted in a few days. For some reason, my Internet at home doesn't work... and the Internet at my girlfriend's house doesn't work... and I never seem to have the time or inclination at school.

You see, I'm sick right now. Not like flu sick, more like cold sick, so I'm still working at 7:40am every day. It's a bitch dealing with kids normally, but when you blow your nose every 10 minutes, it's a real charming situation.

Today, in one of my sections, I had two kids attempting to make mini footballs out of pieces of paper, and one would kick the paper through a field goal position that the other was making with their hands. I tried about five times - actually, probably less - to correct this, and each time it worked. But then, I'd turn around again, and they'd be doing it. Ah, my existence is worthless.

I'm starting to think that what separates children is attention span. Now... let me clarify here. First of all, some children do need extra assistance in school, and I fully realize that. And, many children learn differently, and I fully realize that as well. My third and final caveat is that it's the teacher's responsibility to make lessons engaging and enjoyable enough that children want to pay attention and master the concept being presented. HOWEVER... do you ever notice that the difference between smart and not-so-smart kids is how well they pay attention and focus? I have some kids that know how to do everything we're doing... but, sadly, they don't want to pay attention or focus on anything we're trying to do as a group. So, they don't do well.

There's a whole thing with teachers that if you fail a student, you really FAILED yourself, because all students should be able to pass. I believed that for a while, but honestly, now I'm starting to think it's bunk. I've seen some kids come through my school who have no discipline situations left - basically, the entire school has exhausted discipline options on them, and they basically run wild. Now... all the teachers (I did this last year, I won't lie) pass these students on to the next grade, so that they won't have to deal with them for another year, rather than retaining them and working with them. I feel it's rough to retain a kid sooooo many times, but I think the notion of "failure" might be the only discipline option left for some of these children.

Tears

2004-08-26T15:46:00.000-07:00

I mean, honestly, I understand I'm somewhat of a prick in this regard, but why does a kid need a GameBoy at school? Why does a kid need a huge, 4 foot tall robot doll? Why do children need these things to learn more about society and the world? It's just depressing.

Similarly, how come every day, at the end of the day, when we discuss the day (man, this sentence is running on), my kids summarize the day by saying "WE WENT TO RECESS! WE WENT TO LUNCH!" I know, I know... we did those things. It's just sad that I put a lot (ehhh, kinda) into planning interesting things for them to do to learn about math, science, social studies, and reading, and yet... all they remember is that they went to lunch. I guess I should prompt them more to remember what else we did.

So, to complete a totally nonlinear train of thought here, I caught a kid with his cards, gave them back for good behavior for 1 hour, and then caught 'em again - so I took them at the end of the day, and he was crying. Sad, but what else can I do? Also, 4 kids ran up the slide on my school's playground, even though I said not to run up the slide. I punished all of them. What's with kids testing me? I suppose it's because I had a sub yesterday, and it's notoriously harder to teach on the day after a sub.

Friday tomorrow. Hot. 167 days left. Hotter.

glue on my ass

2004-08-24T16:28:00.000-07:00

Today, I took a glue from an off-task child and innocently, with my mind preoccupied, slipped it into my back pocket.

About 45 minutes later, I'm wondering to myself why my room stinks of glue, and my pants feel odd. Oh yea... glue all over the back of my pants, and sticking to every crevice of my back left side pocket.

Glorious.

Otherwise, a fairly solid day. I taught about addition, the five senses, and various other things... really, I judge days based on how quickly they move, and not exactly how much is accomplished. Maybe I'll throw that into the evaluative mix later; but, I did accomplish some things, and the day flew by, so coupled together, that's a positive.

Inservice tomorrow - instructing the gifted child. Holla! 8 hours in a board room in the eastern part of Houston, pretending that I'm an overly intelligent 9 year old as I cycle through various activities. Funny thing is... in many ways, I am nothing more than an overly intelligent 9 year old.

Week Two Begins ...

2004-08-23T16:34:00.000-07:00

So, today was the first day of the new "departmentalization" plan, allowing me to teach the same brat children I taught last year in a new, content-specific (math) format.

My class went well in the morning (the new kids, this year). Did some addition strategies. "Doubles" and "Doubles Plus One" and "Doubles Minus One." I'm running about 2 weeks behind the curriculum on Week Two, but since when was that a major problem?

The other class saunters in. Within 4 minutes, I'm disciplining left and right; I've got Michael shaving a pencil with his scissors. I've got Johnny coloring a piece of paper he's supposed to be writing on. I've got some kid named Isaac crawling under a table laughing at girls sitting around him. In a class with 16 boys and 4 girls, somehow 3 of the 4 girls are all at one table. I start thinking assigned seats.

That class went poorly, but it's only 1 hr and 45 mins a day - for the next 170 days. That is, if you factor in sick days and whatnot, it's probably close to 155. Then, if you factor in after-school tutorials, it's probably closer to 190 again. I'm working my ass off, and I need more motivation.

Regarding these feelings of guilt... I just find that I have a hard time making eye contact with people at my school. I'm not sure if this is because I'm ashamed of my relatively privileged upbringing (contextually speaking), or because I don't really like disciplining children and making small talk with adults who will probably spend their entire lives in the communities of this area. See... it's not that I don't respect these people (my co-workers). They are tremendously dedicated to their families and the health (emotionally and physically) of the area's children - TREMENDOUSLY. I just have panges of guilt that I can't always explain.

Did you ever notice that when you DON'T think about things, everything is so much easier than when you DO think about things? Who woulda known that thought is a prerequisite to confusion.... yet it makes so much sense.

Departmentalization (Institutionalization?)

2004-08-19T14:48:00.000-07:00

My principal decided to "departmentalize" the third grade today.

For those of you unsure what that means, let me try to explain it in a basic, non-pompous sounding fashion. I am a homeroom teacher, which means I'm supposed to instruct my 15 (yes, a low number) students in reading, writing ("language arts"), math, science, and social studies during a 7:40am - 3:00pm instructional day, with 30 mins for lunch and 45 mins for "ancillary" ("teacher planning period").

That was my deal... now, I'm a "departmentalized" teacher. What does this mean? I teach ONLY math and science, and I teach it to 2 different groups of students. I teach my homeroom math from 8:00am-9:45am, and then the other third grade homeroom math from 9:45am-11:30am. Then, in the afternoon, I switch off with science.

Why is this good?

I get to plan less, and focus on specific areas of thought.
I only see each class for 1hr and 45mins at a given time, which is a good length in terms of not getting extremely pissed off.
It should allow me to accomplish more.

Why is this bad?

The other homeroom is almost entirely kids I had last year, which sucks, and which also means I have to be a much bigger hardass when that class comes in, to avoid pitfalls from my first year of teaching.
I basically shot myself in the foot, because when I first heard I was teaching 3rd grade, I was horrified... and as such, I tried to convince my principal to let me teach 5th/6th grade math (another opening). In so doing, I told her... "My math scores last year were good, right?" She did agree, and lo and behold, I now end up with the SAME KIDS I WAS TRYING TO AVOID based on an argument I was using to try and avoid them... man, my life really smacks me across the face sometimes.

I'm also feeling mildly guilty about this whole "Teach for America" thing. My professional life is certainly no cakewalk, but... I hear about kids who have 35 kids in a room with 22 desks, or whatever, and meanwhile, I've never taught a class size over 21, and that was only for five weeks last fall. I guess the other homeroom might be 22-24 region, so maybe that will help me overcome some guilt (probably by replacing it with feelings of rage), but still, I can't help but think I have it better than most in this general experience, and that's probably something I should reflect on more often, right?

Day Three, Year Two

2004-08-18T15:37:00.000-07:00

First of all, why am I at school at 5:34pm?

I saw a teacher aide (salary hovers around $28,000 a year) driving an Escalade to school today. That's cool, but at the same time, slightly confusing.

Since I didn't post yesterday (out of utter fatigue and exhaustion), I feel the need to come through with some updates today.

Last year, I almost never used textbooks as a teaching tool, preferring instead poorly-crafted lessons that accomplished next to nothing. This year, I feel textbooks might be a more structured, fine-tuned approach to student gains. I have two things planned for tomorrow involving textbooks, and one is a magic square activity with single-digit addition. The sheer chances of this working are so SLIM ... naw, I guess I should remain positive on this blog, right?

172 days left.

What's wrong with Team USA Basketball?

When did gymnastics become so captivating?

Why am I more intrigued by preseason football than early pennant chase baseball?

What am I doing at school at 5:45pm?

1/175 of the way done

2004-08-16T16:09:00.000-07:00

I've got this timeline type paper above my bulletin board (and hence my calendar) where I write what number day of school it is. It was glorious last year to write "175" on May 27th. Today, I just kept looking at the "1" and internally sobbing.

It wasn't so bad - teaching moves fairly quickly if you actually have an idea what you're doing, which I may or may not come the dreaded month of October. Still, despite a slightly underprepared first day, I came out OK, except for the muscle aches, hardcore fatigue, and desire to crawl into bed and never get out.

I had a little girl throw up twice today - she threw up about 8:20am, I sent her to the nurse... the nurse sent her back, she tossed her cookies again around 10:10am, I sent her back to the nurse... she came to lunch with us, didn't eat anything, and again she went back to the nurse... then back to me, said she felt sick... back to the nurse... finally, the aunt came and got her. You can't really prepare for that kind of stuff. I had a kid vomit on his desk during reading in my first year, then sit and stare at it as I tried to hustle him off to the nurse. Man, I never thought I'd write that last paragraph.

Tomorrow holds the promise of a reading assessment (a state reading test administered 2 years ago) which I will score and present to my principal. Funniest shit is, last year I did this, took about 3 weeks to do it, had no idea why I was doing it, and finally submitted it, never looking at it again. Hopefully this time I have some form of a clue.

Ah... Wednesday's the half day... it's almost here.

The Witching Hour

2004-08-15T13:42:00.000-07:00

Ah... the time is almost here. Day one of 175 geared towards attempting to give a bunch of 8 year olds a better stock in life, guided by rhetoric over realism, inspiration over facts, and determination and will over everything else.

I'll tell you - it's really hard. I don't feel a need to get all preachy here, because I definitely could, but what good would that do? Here's the thing, though. People talk about the differences between public schools and private schools, right? Private schools are obviously well-resourced, and have teachers slightly more dedicated because of larger pay scales. OK, those are the basic facts that would seem to distinguish a private school education from a public school education in terms of base quality.

However, here's something I was thinking in the shower this morning. I can certainly do a lot in terms of a classroom teacher this year - but, there's only SO much I can do. See, the kids have to WANT to be there, and need a framework for learning and understanding and paying attention. Because you probably have more affluent (thus, more free time) parents in private schools, the children have a greater framework for all those factors. I can make students WANT to be at school, and love being there... but I only have them for so many hours in a given day. During the other hours, they might be speaking Spanish, watching television, being unsupervised, or any number of other things. I think I need a more substantial parental involvement plan this year.

My points seemed more salient when I first crafted them, but I think everything seems more salient in the shower, if you really think about it.

With regard to James McGreevey, is the bad thing that he's a gay leader, that he lied about being a gay leader, or that he led his wife into a web of lies? I'm not sure exactly where the blame falls.

With regard to USA Basketball, was this team really such a good idea?

With regard to the MLB season, did anyone see this coming with the Cardinals? Jason Marquis? Woody Williams? And how did they get Larry Walker?

Last year before the first day, I was nervous, yet also excited and jazzed full of idealism. This year before the first day, I'm pacing myself for a marathon, and trying to keep things as simple and directive as possible. I wonder if that's a sign of maturity, or apathy.

Meet Your Teacher Day

2004-08-14T11:43:00.000-07:00

I don't really understand how my school publicizes Meet Your Teacher Day - they put it on the marquee in front of the school, sure... but what does that do? I mean, most of the kids that go to my school don't actually LIVE near my school (ironic, right?) Rather, because it's considered a halfway decent public elementary school (which has nothing - absolutely nothing - to do with my presence there), people list their grandmother or aunt or cousin as their permanent address, and thus get zoned for JW Oates. Hence, about 1/2 of our school is related in some manner.

Additionally, the coordinator of my school (essentially the Assistant Principal) had no idea how we publicize the event, which left me further confused.

Regardless, the point is... I always get burned on these things. Last year at "Meet Your Teacher Night" (a mid-September event), I got about 5 people. Last year at this event, I got about six. Today, I got 5. I got 1 girl that I taught last year - nice girl, very cute, dedicated to her family, but has something against effort. She almost never tries. See, if I knew what I was doing last year, I would have looked at her permanent folder and seen that all her previous teachers wrote "(Name) always says the assignment is too hard." I found that out the last week of school, after she did that to me all year. I should nurture her more this year - I got in her face a few times last year, yelling about how giving effort is more important than nothing at all.

In related news, I had one kid scream "I hate reading! I hate school!" while in my presence. I thought to myself, "Wow, should be a fun year..."

My room looks nice, I'll give myself credit for that (vaguely). I basically tried to be as simplistic as possible this year, as opposed to all the RAH RAH RAH messages I employed last year - "Together Everyone Achieves More (TEAM)" and "Work Hard, Play Hard, Get Smart." This year I'm just gonna teach, and try to avoid all the bullshit. I'll discipline when necessary, but if a kid can't deal with it - they usually can't - I'm just going to press ahead.

My question of the day should be, "Who tells these kids what school is for?" I guarantee you on the first day this Monday, about 8 of 15 kids in my class have a toy of some kind. Why? Why would you POSSIBLY need a toy at school, where you're supposed to "learn?" I don't remember bringing toys to school unless the teacher explicitly stated we could, but then again, I suppose I'm comparing apples and oranges, right?

Saw my girlfriend at lunch of her MCATs. I felt really bad, because the girl busts her ass day in and day out, and then doesn't feel as confident on the actual test. I hate it when effort isn't rewarded, especially long, pronounced effort. She's taking the second portion right now - I hope she kicks it in the ass, because she is capable of it and she deserves to succeed on that test.

Man, I can't believe school starts on Monday and doesn't end until May of 2005... wow...

Slowly Approaching the Beginning (the end?)

2004-08-12T15:38:00.000-07:00

I'm almost finished with my classroom as of Thursday afternoon. Additionally, I've created a "Contest Corner" on one wing of JW Oates, allowing students and teachers to see contests open to elementary school students.

Innvoations this year - current events bulletin board, larger space for displaying student work, more tableclothes.

There's some odd, or perhaps not odd in the least, self-absorption at my school. I asked a few people to help me with things around my room today, and no one did. I ended up spending about 4 hours getting all this crap together, a time that probably could have been shaved to 2.5 hours if people had been willing to help. I understand, it was just sad.

I'm not really sure how to feel about this year, but I think I should wait to consider that notion until at least Saturday, when my girlfriend finishes MCATs. For now, I'll say I'm not digging waking up early or contemplating all the work ahead of me.

I haven't gotten fully hyped about college or pro football this year, nor have I really been following baseball, except for day-old results in the Chronicle. In many respects, I feel like a failure as a sports fan, but I still argue Georgia vs. LSU is the centerpiece game of the upcoming college football season, and the Cowboys will suck. Texans and Redskins will both be 8-8, and I have no idea who will win the Super Bowl (Patriots?).

Slowly Gained Confidence

2004-08-10T14:36:00.000-07:00

Day 2 back at school. Confidence gaining slowly.

Stealing an idea from my girlfriend, I think I'm going to make a "Current Events" bulletin board and attempt to incorporate it, somehow, with the "Morning Meeting / Message." The underlying theory is, even if I don't do it as successfully as I want to, it gives kids exposure to newspapers and magazines, and the purpose they serve. They probably don't have that exposure anywhere else.

I also think I'm going to use a "Journaling" approach, where students solve various problems in personal, self-designed journal notebooks, the theory there being that when you write down problems and the steps to solve them, you remember it all more.

Those two things, albeit simple, might make things a bit hotter this year (in a good sense).

Had a training this afternoon. While usually pointless, this training provided clear, usable information. I can't decide whether I think this information is usable because I know HOW to use it (because I'm a second year, and more makes sense) or because it actually IS more usable. I think it might be a combination of both.

My current MLB Playoff Predictions:

AL: Yankees, Red Sox, Twins, As
NL: Braves, Cardinals, Cubs, Dodgers

Teams to Consider: White Sox, Giants, Padres, Rangers

I wish more news outlets would profile "key races" in the Senate and House, because I'd love to know more about those battle lines.

Day One (1.1)

2004-08-09T15:00:00.000-07:00

The decimal reference in the title refers to Summer 2003, when I used to entertain my yellow school bus morning mates by telling us all what week, and what day, of TFA training it was (ala, Week 2, Day 3 would be "2.3").

I rolled back to JW Oates today, and immediately began the compare and contrast process between my life presently, and a year prior.

There were still various pieces of classroom furniture all over the hallways.
Various faculty members were cracking awkward inside jokes.
The place smelled the same.
The really dedicated, determined teachers almost had their rooms finished.
I was extremely tired.
The meetings were a mix of cheer, boredom, and inane chatter (with some solid motivation).

In reality, the only difference was that I'm a year older.

Honestly, you ever associate a smell with a place, or a smell with a feeling? Every time I walk into JW Oates and smell it in late summer, I get this feeling... I can't really explain the feeling, but it's kind of like a mix of excitement and dread, almost the feeling you get when you reach the front of a 1 hour line for a rollercoaster. Like, you denied reality for so long, right? But then there it is, before you, and it's going to be cool, but also suck at points. I don't know if that made any sense, but I tried.

I'm teaching third grade this year, which means I have most of the same kids I had last year. This basically means I'd need to work harder in terms of establishing rules, procedures, and consequences, so that I can actually get some stuff done and not be bogged down by the behavior of my students.

The background noise to this posting, ESPN (what else), just called the NFC East the "toughest division in football." Eh, I guess... but in reality, only the Eagles have a chance to win it. The Skins are a year away, the Cowboys have a 41 year old under center. The Giants, conversely, have a 22 year old under center, and the Cardinals... are they in the NFC East anymore?

As a final note, don't get me wrong as I keep posting about my life at JW Oates. Teaching may not be for me - I think this will gradually emerge as you read posts about my classroom management starting next week - but I do think it's a good thing to do for 2 years, and... I've met some tremendously dedicated, creative people who would be kicking ass and taking names in a variety of professions, but choose to dedicate their time and committment to this random elementary school off the eastern part of the Houston ship channel.

By the way, there's a school profile - and caricatures of old teachers - in the local McDonald's. Kick ass.

welcome back, welcome back, welcome back

2004-08-08T10:47:00.000-07:00

I think I'm going to start moving this blog in a new direction: a summary of the bizzarre shite I see every day as a front-line member of the war on educational inequality. Or, basically, a recap of my days in the classroom.

If I changed the tag line for this blog, I might (if I was dork), write, "A blog with a LiveJournal feel." Fortunately, I'm not a dork - or at least not that big a dork - so I'll just go ahead and keep the "Donna Martin Graduates" title. I think the "graduates" thing makes a lot more sense now, doesn't it?

OK, so I returned to the inner workings of JW Oates Elementary on Saturday (yesterday). I didn't so much as return to the school site itself, as I returned to a nondescript building in Houston Heights, "The Houston Achievement Place." A team of about 10 workers guided the JW Oates staff through the "Project CLASS" training. Yes, in this case, CLASS is an acronym, but I don't remember exactly what it's for - Creating something or other, I think.

First off, I rolled up at 8:30am, which the e-mail about the inservice said was the time it started. As I walked in, it turns out basically my entire faculty was already there. Apparently we were supposed to be there at 8am, essentially making me look bad in front of my principal, who already doesn't like me. Ah... then I go to sign in, and I'm listed as a third grade teacher, despite the fact that I thought I was teaching 4th grade, which is really charming because 3rd grade would indicate I get the same kids as I got last year... AHHHH.... wow. As I started having chest pains and thinking about all the things I'd have to overcome as a teacher of the same students I had last year, I realized that there was still a vacancy for a fifth and sixth grade math teacher... hmmm, I thought. Was it possible?

Quickly doing some investigative work, I put my odds of landing a fifth/sixth grade position at near 20 percent, so I decided I would draft an e-mail when I got home, but not before getting suffienct faculty support before I went through with it.

Meanwhile, as I stared at the cut-up green carpet and sighed deeply, I realized that at the front of the room, several 50 year old women were wearing sunglasses and dancing around singing, "Stop, Look, and Listen... it's the key to Success." I started wondering: why is it that people in education feel a need to make asses of themselves for a worthwhile cause? I mean, I guess Donald Rumsfeld once sang "Fly like an eagle" or "On Eagle's Wings" or something, so I suppose everyone makes an ass out of themselves at one point or another... but this seemed like a new version.

Then, one of the women presenting, who apparently was married to another guy presenter, made some joke about him getting spanked that evening, eliciting nervous laughter and awkward stares from a room full of inner-city, public school educators.

I really do respect teachers for how hard they work, and how much they sacrifice. I just don't know why, exactly, several half-century old women felt the need to revisit the "Men in Black" concept to model for us a way to teach rules and procedures to the class.

In totally unrelated news, I think I'd rather be enshrined in the NFL Hall of Fame as opposed to the MLB Hall of Fame, because you get a bust, as opposed to a slightly 3D plaque. Um, is there a NHL Hall of Fame? It's probably in Canada, right? Or northern Michigan?

the DNC

2004-07-30T11:19:00.000-07:00

I think when the school year actually begins in about three, four weeks I'm going to move this blog into a daily summary and analysis of teaching in an urban Texas ghetto. It might shape the direction of "Donna Martin Graduates."

As for the DNC, a collection of thoughts:

When my first child is in Kindegarten, his social studies curriculum will be highlighted by President Barack Obama.
Was Kerry's speech really that rushed?
Being a delegate in 2008 would be cool.
I thought the unity and the speeches were all very good, but hey... isn't it the same political rhetoric I heard in 1992, 1996, and 2000? Do these speeches ever result in change?
Why is it that all politicians try to shape their lives as common and meaningful to the average man, yet they're well-connected millionaires in reality?
Wouldn't you love to see a dude who drove to Boston in a dusty pickup truck win the nomination?
Does the GOP have an advantage by going second, and closer to Election Day?

Seriously, this is what I don't understand. Bear in mind, this argument is going to make me sound stupid, and not credible to discuss said topics. If you watch CNN and see a set piece where a Republician and a Democrat are interviewed about the same issue, HONESTLY they say slight variations of the same general theme. If everyone wants America to succeed, why can't bipartanship flourish in various governmental organizations? Why can't anyone say "fuck the sides of the aisle, I want America to succeed" and then actually mean it?

Ah, I'm naive...

sex offenders and various other trains of thought

2004-07-20T12:39:00.000-07:00

I promised myself I wouldn't put a lot of links in this thing when I started it, but here goes nothing, regardless. Look at this link, from Fox 26 News in Houston:

http://www.fox26.com/predator/HISD%20schools%20A.htm

I work in that district.

Do you know there's an entire blog dedicated to whether or not Jessica Simpson's breasts are real? A valid topic, without a doubt... but an entire blog?

20 "bloggers" got accredited for the DNC next week in Boston. It's really a shame I didn't start this thing earlier. Ah, pipe dreams.

As for the DNC, I'd like to see an unified, coherent message emerge and Kerry bounce to the clear frontrunner before Bush's 9-11 showcase in late August. I think Kerry needs a 30 minute speech - maybe as low as 25 - that emphasizes his credentials without bashing them over the heads of unsuspecting midwestern viewers, while explaining why these credentials are uniquely suited (or, say, moreso uniquely suited) to guide our nation than Bush's corresponding credentials. I think he eventually needs to address the inherent disconnect of most Dem. nominees for President - how can you argue for the resolution of "two Americas" (Edwards' big thing) when, in fact, you're chillin and windsurfin' on Nantucket ("where the millionaires mow the lawns of the billionaires") over the weekend.

Question of the Day
Are Jessica Simpson's breasts real?
(someone's gotta ask it)

Moving, Giving in to Terrorism, and other stuff

2004-07-19T09:38:00.000-07:00

I moved this weekend. The most significant (or significantly depressing) thing that I realized is, without cable or Internet hooked up, I really had nothing to do. I read like 12 magazines, which I suppose is good (and I know that Lenny Dysktra is running an upscale car wash, which is interesting), but man, this digital age has really captured our generation.

Here's a good one. The Phillipines are pulling troops out of Iraq to avoid one of their citizens getting beheaded, right? It's drawing international ire, apparently. I honestly haven't been following it that closely, but I believe that to be right.

What if Bush's daughter was captured by terrorists (one of them is trying to go to Africa, where I believe anit-US groups operate)? Would he pull out US troops for his daughter, or keep them in for his nation?

I bet some movie has been made about that exact choice, and I probably didn't see it. Regardless, if you had a good script, it would be a kickass movie.

Martha Stewart got sentenced to five months in prison for her insider trading deal. Don't you think white collar criminals ought to do a "Robin Hood" style thing, and give a larger chunk of their money to the poor? I mean, what does putting a white collar criminal in jail really do? I don't think it does anything, frankly. Meanwhile, there's a growing national divide between the "haves" and the "have nots" which could probably be somewhat (miniscule, I know) fixed by making rich crooks give their money to lower-income districts.

Some guy on FOX News this weekend said regarding Farenheit 9/11, "If I wanted to see a fictional movie about a fat guy, I'd go to Shrek 2." I hate FOX News, but you gotta admit that's pretty funny.

I think Kris Benson should go to the Mets, and Randy Johnson to the Red Sox. Meanwhile, no one's taking notice of Morris Peterson - on the verge of blossoming into a 20 ppg scorer - going to the already stacked New Orleans Hornets, who have an excellent coach coming aboard in Byron Scott.

When are these NFL preview mags going to come out?

Question of the Day
Consider the President Bush scenario above. What would YOU do?

what is celebrity?

2004-07-14T12:54:00.000-07:00

Has anyone ever stopped to think exactly what makes Paris Hilton a celebrity?

Is it because she's rich, does dumb things, and involves herself with marginal celebs like Nick Carter and Lionel Richie's heroin addicted daughter?

I don't really get it.

In the same vein, why don't more people from reality shows become famous after the reality show ends? Johnny Fairplay from Survivor is in pro wrestling now, and one of those other Survivor girls is on The View, right? And Eric Nies hosted The Grind after Real World I in New York. But come on. If someone like Paris Hilton can demand that much attention from the press, can't Brad Fiorenzia from Real World San Diego get his own show on CNBC or something?

I can't believe I just wrote that.

I've become mildly obsessed with The Real World recently, since watching 11 San Diego episodes in one day. The only Real Worlds I've ever followed were NYC (#1), New Orleans, and San Diego. I feel like I missed a lot of popular culture moments, fleeting as they may have been. It's a shame, really.

Diesel on the Heat. I wonder if they'll be good... and more specifically, I wonder how long until Pat Riley takes the urge to replace Stan Van. Ironic, because once Isisah takes over the Knicks, it'll be Riley vs. Thomas, which was once a prominent player vs. coach matchup in the late 1980s. Ah, things coming full-circle. Doesn't sports do that better than any other outlet?

Why is Jessica Simpson famous? Because she's hot, because she married another hot young rich person, because she's a singer, or because she's dumb?

Does anyone even really care that the NHL might get locked out?

Hilary (sp?) Clinton's aides are pissed she's not getting a prime time spot at the DNC later this month (shit, in 2 weeks). That's probably because she's gunning for THE prime time spot at 2008 (did they pick a site for that yet?). Ah, Edwards vs. Clinton '08... the Iowa State Fair will never be the same, 'specially if you toss Evan Bayh in there.

Question of the Day
Behind the New York Times and (I think) The Washington Post, what's the best daily newspaper in America?

parenting styles and the glory of Lance Berkman

2004-07-13T10:31:00.000-07:00

I watched the Home Run Derby on television last night, after contemplating (for about 11 seconds) going to Crawford Street downtown and trying to catch balls. I realized I didn't have cash to pay for parking, and nixed the idea, which ended up being a good thing when I saw unbridled mob violence on one of Tejada's dingers.

And what the hell was the point of making that huge stage for the infield when Clay Walker did one song?

Anyway, Lance Berkman had 42 HRs and 128 RBIs in 2002, but since that was before I moved here, and thus before I cared about the Astros (and read their daily beat writer summaries in the Chronicle, for lack of anything better to do when my girlfriend is studying for MCATs), I didn't know a lot about him. His performance last night, even in loss, was magical. He ripped like 6 in a row to left field at one point, making small elementary school children sprawl over trying to catch the ricochet. He's got 152 career HRs as of now, and he's like my age. I think he'll get 500. He should start batting from the right side of the plate more at home, although I don't know how well he'd hit righty against live pitching. Tony Pena was tossing heat, though - and high.

Antonio McDyess on the Pistons. *Yawn*

I read this article - letter to the editor - in the Chronicle last night where a mother criticized some social columnist for writing an article about the decline of American parenting. The woman went off on some tangent about how she took her 2 children to California to see relatives, and they visited all these amazing sights and read books together and shit. Good for you, lady. I really do applaud your attempt to broaden the horizons of your children, but the woman who wrote the initial article wasn't talking about you. The fact of the matter is, the ghetto has always been awful for parenting... it's hard to blame those parents, though. A lot of times, they don't have a role model for what good parenting should be, and honestly, they need to work to make money for food and rent, so they can't always be with their child. Still - and I know you can find a survey to prove anything (that's how I got through college) - there's countless surveys that the average time UPPER MIDDLE CLASS parents spend with their children is decreasing on an annual basis, probably down several percentage points from the early 1990s. Interesting, given the relative absence of this debate in the recent political spectrum. Honestly, do you know how many NYC parents hire babysitters so they can go out, on a 6/8 weekend nights a month basis?

I'd argue being a good father is probably one of the most tangible accomplishments a man can record, and yet it can't really go on any resumes.

Do you ever find it weird how people are generally obsessed with things happening at midnight? Midnight Madness? Now there's a new movie series where classic comedies play at Midnight followed by group discussions or some such. And then, there's Midnight Basketball making a comeback in large urban centers (another attempt to keep kids off the streets, probably of a futile nature). Also, the term "midnight" is used in countless book and film titles. People are really, really obsessed with it. I can't tell if it's just the word, the images it conjurs up, or the notion of darkened secrecy.

Ron Reagan Jr. is speaking at Democratic National Convention, in prime time, about stem cell research. That's cool and all, but I bet Ah-Nold pops a bigger share / rating for the GOP in August with his prime time slot.

Question of the Day
Is chilvary (sp?) among American males truly dead?

Iraq = Vietnam?

2004-07-12T12:42:00.000-07:00

So yesterday, I'm reading the Houston Chronicle Sunday edition, because the NY Times Sunday edition was sold out at the grocery store next to my girlfriend's apartment. The lead story on A1 is about America's presence in the Middle East (go figure) and this article is fairly long (who woulda thunk?) and continues onto like A26 or something. On the second page of the article, some US under-general says, "The roads are treacherous; there's bombs absolutely everywhere. These people have nothing to fight for, so they're just fighting to hurt us. There's no rhyme or reason to their strategy."

(I'm paraphrasing, by the way... I don't really know if that was the exact quote, but that's the jist of it)

Doesn't that seem like Vietnam to you? Let's see - a war halfway around the world that we don't necessarily need to be in, or, at the very least, don't need to be in ANYMORE... hmmmm....

Johnson was from Texas, right? And came to the Oval Office through odd means (that some would argue he arranged to happen... hell, some at Dealey Plaza argue that)?

Bush is from Texas, right? And came to the Oval Office basically because the Supreme Court was full of people his father had appointed?

Odd.

America is a fuckin' odd place.

Honestly, though, why are we still in Iraq? We've been hearing for months now that there's no connection between Iraq and Al-Qaeda, yet we've been hearing for years that Al-Qaeda masterminded 9/11. The thing is, now there's all this talk (headline on cnn.com) that Election Day might be postponed as a "Doomsday plan" or some shit... why? Because there's "intelligence" (vague, governmental buzzword) coming "from somewhere" that indicates Al-Qaeda might be planning something. Word, they might. You know how we could stop them? Address THEM instead of Iraq.

Anyway, since I don't know that much about politics, I'm going to stop discussing politics at this juncture.

Shaq on the Heat (if it happens) probably shifts the balance of power to the East, but the NBA Title is a race between the Spurs and the TWolves, with the Pistons, Pacers, and Heat slugging it out in the East. Get ready for this shit, though: the Nuggets ("Nuggs" to stoners) are going to get the 4 seed in the West, if not this year than next. Especially if they add K-Mart... you're looking at a 5 of Miller, Melo, Camby, NeNe, KMart... sure, doesn't SOUND like a lot, but believe me, they'll be good. Grizzlies haven't lost anyone, either. Expect them to only get better.

Jessica Simpson is going to be Daisy Duke in "Dukes of Hazzard" movie, potentially with Ashton Kutcher and Paul Walker. WOW. That's all which can really be said.

I watched about 11 minutes of "Ready to Rumble" last night on TBS late night. Extremely underrated film, if you enjoy films about professional wrestling. It's a notch above "No Holds Barred" and somewhere below "Beyond the Mat" (which I've never seen, but have heard is excellent).

Question of the Day
What would happen to society if lawyers and teachers switched salaries?

FanFest

2004-07-11T14:57:00.000-07:00

I hit up FanFest at the George R. Brown Convention Center today. Billed as a celebration of baseball, the several miles (I'm estimating square area) display features video batting cages and pitching matchups, Nolan Ryan telling parents how to involve their children in baseball, various guys from MLB Radio trying to answer MLB Trivia Questions (if you stump them, you win a shirt), and a bunch of other stuff.

It was really cool; despite that generic description, I truly think it summarized a lot about professional sports today. Sports is another, newer form of religion for some: it brings together people to pray at a common altar, if you will. For example, you ever see the overheard picture of when Horry hit that shot for the Lakers? The entire arena rises in 1 moment. That's seriously f'n holy. At the same time, sports is all marketing, which is sad. Every time I turned around, someone was offering me a beach towel, a duffel bag, or something of that variety if I registered for a credit card or signed some piece of paper. It got fairly annoying, to be perfectly honest. And, the whole "dealership" thing with regard to memorabilia was on display - 1/2 of the place was devoted to memory dealers, and you had to wonder if Jordan really wants his 1982 UNC game-worn jersey being sold for $1395. I don't know how it all works, but I've heard it's a pretty scandalous, backdoor operation.

Is baseball truly America's game? It's probably football right now, although that answer does vary geographically. And despite the international marketing success of the NBA, I don't think they have something like this... or maybe they do... you know, with their All-Star Games and whatnot.

Baseball is such a summer, family-oriented game, and Americans love the notion of "summer" so much (lazy bastards we all are), I suppose it makes sense that baseball should be America's game.

I played PS2 after waiting behind a series of small children for upwards of 30 minutes. It convinced me that indeed, I think I need to buy a video game system of some kind. The other thought I had was that I should become a fan of the Texas Rangers, or organize a softball team for my new apartment complex. It's funny how large-scale logistical clusterfucks make me think about creating other, larger-scale logistical clusterfucks.

I think I've also, gradually, realized that all I really need for happiness is a sports-related publication, air conditioning, and potentially something of an alcohol variety, although that's entirely contextual. I spent yesterday afternoon watching Astros vs. Dodgers and reading Sports Illustrated (the Manny Ramirez cover - the lead article, on Manny, was horrible, although 10 reasons why baseball is back was cool, if financially fact-laden) and it was utter bliss.

Question of the Day
Is Miami the new hot spot of American sports? (This question boils down to: "Will the Dolphins be any good?")

values

2004-07-09T15:07:00.000-07:00

When Kerry and Edwards talk of "values" and then Bush and Cheney talk of "values" and correspondingly speak of "raising American values," do you ever get the feeling that they realize they're all truly on the same page, and just trying to be different for the sake of keeping up a national election?

Someone's planning a show called "Amish in the City," McDonald's recently got sued for its French Fries, and cnn.com interviewed UPenn frat boys about who they would rather do kegstands with, Kerry or Bush. It's good to know that the mainstream media frequently picks up articles from theonion.com.

Speaking of which, I've read Houston Chronicle the past 3 days basically cover to cover, and gradually realized that about 85 percent of their content is picked up from somewhere else...

Where the hell is Randy Johnson going to land? Boston? Schilling and Johnson, part 2... and yet somehow I think the Yankees will still win the American League. Or, honestly, the Rangers... man, they're playing some good ball. With Brad Fullmer - a guy I saw in A Ball - as their cleanup man. Expos retreads... ah...

The biggest sham about not being in college anymore is that it's harder to justify to yourself that you're a kid, so it's harder to do stupid things in terms of spending money. It's a shame, really.

Man, I'd really like to cover the minor leagues for a year or two... I bet that's the ultimate in human condition reporting.

Question of the Day
Do you trade Shaq? If so, what do you demand for him?

lack of Internet, lack of caring

2004-07-06T15:19:00.000-07:00

My office didn't have Internet for essentially 99 percent of the workday. It was hysterical to watch people justify their lack of work (myself included) because of the Internet being down. What did people do before the Internet? I really have no idea.

An old woman in my office was noted to tell a coworker with regards to a magazine cover, "Look at this Lindsay Lohan. 17, and look at these knockers!" I laughed my ass off.

Gagne finally blew a save. In reality, I don't care - the Dodgers still suck, except for Milton Bradley and Adrian Beltre. While Gagne is an amazing closer, he already killed this record, and at some point it had to end... it's just a shame it had to be to the DBacks, managed by Mets retread Al Pedrique.

I'm glad Edwards got picked, because in reality, could you see Tom Vilisack as President of the United States?

There's a segment on SportsCenter where some high school senior committed to Duke e-mailed Coach K about how much Coach K means to Duke. Apparently, this swayed the decision. Right. I'm sure the fact that the Lakers will suck next year also swayed the approach; I must admit though, the segment has tug-at-the-heartstrings potential.

Last night, I read a book called "What Your Sixth Grader Needs to Know" which contained a diverse section on American history. It's amazing how stupid I am, in that I understood the Vietnam war better from a 3 paragraph description than I did from the months I covered it in HS social studies / history classes.

I watched a segment on ABC about life in the minor leagues last night. Amazing. Did you know Mitch Williams is the coach of the Atlantic City Surf? Amazing.

Is Dan Brown ever going to leave the NY Times Best Seller List?

Question of the Day
Is this approach of "Edwards was Kerry's 2nd choice, and his first choice is aligned with us?" going to work for Bush?

Norman Rockwell spirit

2004-07-05T13:56:00.000-07:00

I tried to post yesterday, but I don't think it worked. Basically, it was a convoluted stream of consciousness about how 4th of July is an overrated holiday.

I started thinking about that a little bit more on Sunday night, as I gazed at the stars in an outdoor park while straining to hear the Houston Symphony Orchestra. I think 4th of July can be overrated, but, like everything, it depends on context. The cool thing about it is: it's one of those days, each year, where you can really mark your life. "What were you doing on 4th of July 2001?" You'll probably remember. I'd argue it's that, your birthday, New Year's Eve / Day, and then one random event every five years, such as the assassination of a prominent figure or the death of a loved one. Milestone days, that's what I mean.

I'm glad Coach K decided to stay - better for college basketball in general, better for the ACC (which is trying to become a conference dedicated to big money football), and better for the Lakers (he would have sucked). Now, the Lakers probably take Rudy T, keep Kobe, and send Shaq to Dallas. Wow, the Spurs are def. gonna win the West next year - and mark my words, the Grizzlies get a top five seed, even with the Hornets entering the conference.

Not that anyone cares, but I'm saying if I was Kerry, my order would be: Edwards, Vilisack (sp), Gephardt.

Not that anyone cares, but where's Mario Cuomo's speech at the DNC?

4th of July really inspired a Norman Rockwell style bullshit spirit in me - you know, seeing kids frolic on a grassy plain and make up rules to their own games, seeing couples snuggle on blankets, and random 40 year old single guys with Coors Light bottles staring at the sky. 4th of July, in some sad and some amazing ways, really is the essence of America: laid back, detached, yet at the same time, oddly passionate.

Doesn't someone wish Michael Moore would make a documentary about NIKE and Phil Knight?

People are making a big deal of the fact that the NL All-Star outfield is Griffey, Bonds, Sosa. Woo f'n hoo. Check this: the AL infield? Giambi, Soriano, Jeter, ARod. Hehe. That coulda been this year's Yankee infield.

Question of the Day
Does the Koran truly justify violence?

overrated holidays and other musings

2004-07-04T10:29:00.000-07:00

When I was like 16 and had nothing to do on New Year's Eve, my mom once told me that New Year's Eve is the "most overrated holiday of the year."

Statement has some creedence, even if it was only said to ease the depressing heaves of sighing from an adolescent. New Year's Eve is a bitch - you spend a lot of time planning to do something, you spend way too much money, and you're usually unfulfilled in the end result. Shameful.

But then take a look at July 4th - it's a cool holiday in that it celebrates our liberation from an oppressive tyrant (insert ironic lightbulb moment here), but at the same time, it's overrated in its own sense. The thing is... your actions on July 4th mirror your development as a human being. What the hell am I talking about, you ask? Consider it: when you're younger, you spend 4th frolicing with family, extended family, and neighborhood friends. Norman Rockwell would bust a nut over it. Then, you approach college years, and you spend 4th getting pretty drunk and eating undercooked hamburgers thrown together by a guy wearing college mesh shorts (maybe that's just me). You get older, and you spend it at the pool of your apartment complex.

Even though I'm making no sense right now, let's just leave it at this: 4th of July can be pretty overrated as well.

CNN is interviewing Vanessa Kerry and trying to pump her for information on who the VP will be. Better question: when your father invokes the word "values" every 48 seconds in speeches, what exactly does he mean?

I think golf is actually more interesting to watch on television than tennis.

Spider Man 2 gives hopes for a new generation of nerd filmmakers obsessed with comic book tales, even though Sam Raimi is by no means a nerd. I mean, can't we have more comic book megamovies that explore the soul of the superhero's alter-ego, ala Spider Man 2? I don't think "Hellboy" or the shitty 1991 Captain America movie really did that. I think someone needs to make a Silver Surfer movie, and really get to the core of what makes Silver Surfer tick as a human being and a fighter of evil. I also liked Captain America back in the day; if I ever became famous, I'd write a script for a new C-America movie.

Question of the Day
Are there any attractive male rappers?

notions of an evil empire

2004-07-03T10:28:00.000-07:00

Last night on SportsCenter, I heard Linda Cohn refer to the 2001 New York Yankees (or, rather, probably the Yankees in general) as "the evil empire." Granted, and fair... the Yankees do use their incredible wealth - rather, the wealth of their owner - to pursue free agents ad nauseam, and acquire infields like Jeter-ARod-Giambi. I understand.

Still, I was a bit pissed off that Bob Brenly was painted as the new Luke Skywalker, defeating the evil empire. First of all, the 2001 Yankees weren't so bad, the DBacks had the best 1-2 pitching punch in perhaps the history of the league, and let me, for a second, reference the 9-11 factor. While I don't agree that New York "needed the Yankees to win the 2001 World Series," because 9-11 was less than 2 months prior, it's still something to consider. Don't call the Yankees evil. They're moderately evil, sort of like midwestern Republicians seeking a third Senate term. They're not horribly evil, like, you know, the Middle East. I'm just kidding.

In related news, Game 1 of the 2001 World Series was so boring that I spent most of the game watching Washington State vs. Cal, when Jason Gesser was QB of Washington State. Whatever happened to Jason Gesser? I think he's on the Titans.

Bill Cosby drew some ire for his comments on black parenting styles. While normally I wouldn't post about something like this, given that it's all over the news, and who really cares what I think, I do happen to teach in the inner city for 10 months of the year, so I feel I have a little bit of information on black parenting styles. Actually, I only had 2 black families in my class last year, and I thought they were relatively charming. There's a boatload of problems with American education, that teachers and teacher certification courses tend to blame on a variety of factors, most notably the "No Child Left Behind Act" of 2001, which actually leaves most children behind. The real problems are inherently institutional, and I don't know - nor am I smart enough - to figure out how to fix poverty.

I can tell you being President probably sucks 98 percent of the time, but 2 percent would involve being serenaded by Jessica Simpson on 4th of July. One time in Maxim, she said "My boobs always get in the way!" True. So does her stupidity.

I bet Dawkins is glad he didn't take the GU job, eh?

Can you really believe Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman, and then as Batman?

Question of the Day
When Iowa Governor Tom Vilisack (sp?) says in his speeches, "I grew up at 401 Main Street," does it endear him to small-town America or make him seem like a clown forcing Norman Rockwell down our throats?

The Godfather, Coach K, Steve Nash, and E Online

2004-07-02T10:15:00.000-07:00

Last night I was watching "The High Price of Fame" on E, strictly out of boredom / wanting my girlfriend to have enough time to study for MCATs. First of all, they voted Phoebe Cates' nude scene in "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" (a thoroughly entertaining film, granted) to be the most memorable nude scene of all time. Total bunk. I can think of thousands of more memorable nude scenes. Halle Berry in Monster's Ball? Angelina Jolie in Sin? Kristin Davis in Sex and the City?

I checked out E Online because they had an ad for it (I'm a stereotype). They were selling Ted Casablanca boxers, which read "Put some sass in your ass." Uh.

I'm wondering - if Duke players suck in the pros, and college coaches suck in the pros, is this Coach K to the Lakers thing really that good an idea?

It's sad that Marlon Brando died, although not in a tangible, show-your-tears type of way. I'd argue Reagan's death might have been that, if only because of the overly intense media coverage of his laying in-state, transport to the Capitol, etc. I felt like a tool for shedding a few tears, but I did. What was I talking about? Oh yea, Brando. "On the Waterfront" is an American class, and so is "The Godfather." That one he made, 'Dr. Moreau's Island' or whatever it is, that was, in the words of The New York Times TV Guide, "a real pavement cracker." Sadly, he didn't age well, but I do give him props for his earlier roles. I should probably watch his turn in Streetcar, seeing as how I've never seen it.

Foxsports runs the headline "Suns grab super hot free agent." Steve Nash? Super hot? He's more burned out than a guy in row five at the Bob Marley Fest from running the Mavs' "We score 103, but we give up 110" offense for the past couple years. He'll probably do well with Marion, Johnson, and Stoudmire, though... if the Suns had room and got Kobe or someone, they could really shake some shite up in the West.

Is July 4th a more or less overrated holiday than New Year's Eve?

Why does espn.com list Adonal Foyle - perhaps best known as a staunch campaign finance reform advocate - as one of the 15 Best Free Agents on the market?

Question of the Day
Who should be the Democratic veep choice?

What's the point of all this?

2004-07-01T13:39:00.000-07:00

Hey everybody.

("Hey Dr. Nick!" - refrain)

You ever read blogs on the Internet and think to yourself (or, conversely, say to yourself, as I know I talk aloud), "Jesus, who cares what this dude thinks? I'd rather hear Chris Matthews discuss this!" Disgusted, you hurl your DSL cable into your Craig's List-purchased Popizon (acceptable spelling, although some prefer Papasan) Chair and turn on the TV, smiling brightly.

I'm not sure what I'm doing here. Not at all, really. But I figure it will take shape eventually. My promises, for now:

- Try not to author viewpoints on things I don't understand
- Try not to post random links that take you places I wouldn't understand either
- Try not to be an ass

Sh*t, guess that last one is already done for.

I know about three things in life: sports, pop culture, and using the Internet to find out random facts. I can tell you why "Igby Goes Down" is a modern-day "Catcher in the Rye," or dine with you over notions of why Grizzlies vs. Nuggets will be the Bulls vs. Knicks feud of 2010 and beyond.

I couldn't name more than 10 US Senators, although I'm mildly socially aware.

I didn't know I was liberal until I was just about 21; now I bask in the reflected glow of that narrow description daily.

I believe that if Donna Martin can graduate from HS, anything is possible.

I believe to become a well-read blog, I need a rotating hook. Let's try this: Question of the Day.

Question of the Day
Where does Kobe play next year?
Where does Shaq play next year?